5 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Marriage
I remember standing at the front of the crowd in front of a tree watching my soon-to-be wife walk down the aisle where we would soon say our vows and our “I dos.” Fast-forward a year and the turmoil of married life and prepping for a baby was beginning to wash its waves above our heads. I once heard it said that "Marriage is hard work". In my head I would say, “duh- it's work, but it can’t be that much work.” Oh how little I knew even during that time. However, even with the tumultuous waves of life that try to come between us, I have come to realize that these following tips have helped my wife and I partner together through the storms.
Tip 1: Pray Together
The intentional act of prayer together as a couple helps place a reminder that there is a bigger purpose, even than our petty and temporal quarrels that too often happen over minor things in hindsight. In addition, it also takes the focus off our own strength and knowledge and places our hands held up with anticipation of needing to rely on God’s strength and guidance. Overall, prayer helps refocus perspective.
Tip 2: Have a Routine Date Night
Date night helps facilitate the continuation of being a student of your spouse. I once heard it said by one of my professors in undergraduate school, “You stop learning-You stop growing.” Date night helps facilitate and nurture that growth. It does not have to be an expensive date either. The objective is to be a student and continue to obtain that high school, college, and doctorate degree.
Tip 3: Verbally Share Appreciation
Proverbs 18:21, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” The tongue and the words it creates can be a source of either encouragement or discouragement in a marriage. In my years of experience, I have seen more benefits come from uplifting words rather than put downs. Just remember-it feels nice to be acknowledged and we are after all called to live by the golden rule (Luke 6:31).
Tip 4: Speak Up - Don’t Shut Up!
Conflict has sometimes been seen as a negative factor in a marriage. I once heard a couple share, “We never argue.” It wasn’t until several sessions in the counseling room that both found they had been fostering bitterness toward each other, due to not wanting to cause a conflict. However, it is by engaging in conflict in a healthy manner that we sharpen our spouse and therefore strengthen our marriage.
Tip 5: Hold Each Other
The action of just holding your spouse allows comfort and security for both in a healthy marriage. Young parents are often encouraged to hold their baby often because it helps strengthen the bond between parent and child. The same can be said for a husband and wife. The act of holding each other for even 5 minutes a day helps strengthen that bond.
In any case, these are just 5 ways to maintain a healthy marriage. There are ways to continue to maintain a healthy marriage, but the great thing about writing is that this is just the start of the discussion. If you have any ways you and your spouse help maintain a healthy marriage then I would love to hear them in the comment section.
